Tuesday, February 14, 2017

loving life [let people love you]


Let people love you. You don’t have to earn it, work for it, deserve it, be good enough for it. That’s the whole point of love, at the end of the day. People love you for you, not who they want you to be.

I feel alone sometimes which is probably understandable since my closest family member is 4.5 hours away and the only other thing in the house that breathes is a good bottle of wine my dog. Yes, I think the bottle of wine does not count......maybe.....probably.....does not count. Its so easy to focus on what one doesn't have especially when someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, but that doesn't mean its not all they have or that there aren't people out there who love me just the way I am and for who I am.

To those who do love me, even when I might be a little hard to love. Thank you!, I'm thankful for you. For whatever reason, I have a hard time believing that I'm worth that love and I'm going to try just a little bit extra to let you love me, just because you want to. Not for what you can gain from me or what I can do for you, but just because you love me. The footprints of your love, make me who I am.

I'm having a bit of a hard time putting my thoughts and feelings into words on this topic, probably mainly because shit happens that has caused some serious contemplation, on my part, on this subject. And so, I'll just say this: Its hard to hear that someone doesn't love you, or even like you a little bit, it makes you doubt other people's love for you even when those "other people" have given you no reason to doubt. But, still, when you hear it, hear that you are less important than money, time, another person, a job (whatever it may be) and it hits you deep down in the gut. with a thud. and all you can do is wonder what is wrong with you....it makes you take a good, hard look at your life and purpose, but its probably not even you. And then you pick up the pieces and move on because that is the choice, there isn't any other choice. Something good comes from bad right? remember those "other people". Well, that punch in the gut lead to me to repairing a long lost friendship, where things were said that weren't meant, tears were cried that shouldn't have never been and there were lost years that should have been filled with jokes, visits, phone calls and texts. So through tears and reflection, I found one of my very best friends again and I'm going to let them love me despite our little falling out a few years ago. That punch in the gut, it lead me to looking at my relationships with family, friends and acquaintances. And I'm choosing  to let those family, friends and acquaintances love me with all they have (or don't have) but I will walk away if need be. life is short.

While this post was all about loving me, stayed tuned where I attempt thoughts and understanding on getting to love people back....or  even loving those that don't love me in loving life #17! I read a post today on 10 signs you are doing better than you think you are....I've nailed all 10, so I'm ok. It's proven....by science. So I'm going to keep on being me.

You're welcome for the random rambling of gobble-d-gook. Hope at least one sentence made sense to someone besides for me, but if not at least there are some good quote pictures.

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